In yoga therapy there are many misconceptions. Most of the asana and Pranayam are classified as if they are for particular physical or mental problems. For example, Matsyendrasan is “good” for a diabetic patient or Savasana is good for controlling high blood pressure. However, many patients suffer from multiple problems. If the person is over weight and can’t even sit on the ground, how you are going to teach him Matsyendrasan?
Any one pose or Pranayam cannot cure any particular physical, mental or psychosomatic problem!
As a matter of fact, only asana or Pranayam is not going to help if it is done in a mechanical pattern or form. There are other factors, which are playing a major role in the recovery process. The Yoga therapist must and should impart the technology and philosophy of this science while providing the training to their patients. Plus the traditional poses are not at all suitable to the needs of the man of this age where our life style is completely different from those of the old days! It is very important to teach more simplified versions as Yoga is non-specific when it comes to effective and positive results, especially if other factors are not incorporated, for example, diet, routine, positive attitude, openness to accept the changes and learning new healthy habits etc. These other factors are:
Awareness: A person who is practicing yoga as a therapy must understand the reason for this practice. It is not important that the pose should be perfect in order to get its benefits but more important is the awareness of the body and attitude.
Concept: The concept of the pose and Pranayam must be explained and should be very clear before its practice. The scientific explanation is a must.
Commitment: There has to be a commitment from both the sides – the therapist and the practitioner. There must be a mutual understanding that one is there to explain & teach and the other is there to learn, recover and gain.
Dedication: Quite often people are taking up Yoga as an experiment. Some times when all other doors are closed, they come to yoga practices and expect a miracle or instant change or recovery! Just as there is a big difference in Allopathic medicines and Herbal medicines, likewise there is a big difference between other holistic physical training and yoga. Once the person feels some positive results, he has to practice on a regular basis as a routine. Once a week, one-hour practice is not going to help!
Trust and faith: Just as a patient trusts his doctor or any other health practitioner, in the same way there has to be a faith & trust in whatever the patient is practicing during Yoga therapeutic sessions. It is very important that a good rapport is maintained during the treatment and follow-up sessions.
Attitude: Often, people who believe in other faiths or religions are not ready for certain yoga practices when it comes to the philosophy and devotional practices for relaxation and meditation. The attitude is that ‘I want to learn yoga but I don’t want to learn the philosophy; I’m here to learn only poses and breathing.’ In other words, ‘I want to learn swimming but without getting wet!’ Here, it is very important for a therapist to provide the scientific explanations instead of giving the religious reasons. All yoga practices are based on the laws of the nature and nature has nothing to do with various faiths or religions. It is very true that the science of Yoga was developed in India and majority of Hindu persons practice that. The base is of Hindu faith – but as a way of life. All Hindu scriptures and literature are explaining Yoga and its various paths. To teach and learn Yoga, one has to have some sort of knowledge of Bhagawat Gita, Patanjali Yoga Sutra, Hath-yoga Pradipika and such texts.
Here the intention is not to teach the religion but the philosophy behind the practice. If certain techniques are practiced with a certain attitude, then it helps more than just a mechanical practice. E.g. Chanting of OM as a universal sound!
Many attitudes are cultivated while practicing any pose. Each and every move can provide a space to learn a certain attitude if explained and developed during its regular practice. It could be from the gross to the subtlest level! That will help the patient in the long run to change his life style and in cultivating healthy habits for good!
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This article has been written by Manjari Bhatt, She is Yoga Teacher & Therapist and Founder of Yoga Education Centre Ontario
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Courtesy: http://www.healthandyoga.com A popular website that helps you find natural solutions for complete health and detoxification.
Discover health and beauty…. Naturally!!
2008年8月28日 星期四
2008年8月25日 星期一
靜坐和冥想
靜坐和冥想 目標相同
坊間談禪修、靜坐的書很多，教如何禪坐的單位也不少，相信有不少朋友已經去修習過了。不過，您會發覺，如何讓自己「靜」下來、「定」下來，各有各的說法，莫哀一是。
以英文來說，不論靜坐或是想，都是Meditation。但中文就有不同意義，也代表不同境界。基本上，靜坐與冥想的目標相同，都是透過練習，讓我們的身體與心靈都靜下來，達到什麼都不想，無我的狀態。到達那個狀態，可以說是「三摩地」，也就是瑜伽的最高境界，是心中水波不興，完全靜止的情況。
但是，這種無我的狀態非常難到達，除了不斷的練習之外，加上一些幫忙會好一點。靜坐(有人叫禪坐，它們兩者非常接近)和冥想就是幫助我們達到無我的最高境界的過程。不過，這兩者有過程上的差異。
靜坐，望文生義，就是坐在那邊儘量什麼都不想。冥想則相反，我們在冥想中是有主題的，思想儘量圍著它繞。
冥想想什麼？
您在靜坐與冥想之間，可以同時並行(早上練冥想，晚上練靜坐；或前一段是冥想，接下來是靜坐時間)，也可先選擇每天練習冥想。
那麼，冥想想什呢？有幾個方向可想：想顏色、想畫面、想聲音…。這些在冥想中的主題，千萬不要和現實生活中有緊密的連結。請不想在冥想中想工作、家庭、子女、財務等您每天都在困擾的事。相反的，您要想的是可以讓自己集中去想且能放鬆，但又不會在過程中睡著的主題。
想顏色怎麼想呢？您可以以一週一個顏色來進行，若是能配合著脈輪的顏色來冥想更好。比如：海底輪的紅色、生殖輪的澄色、臍輪的黃色、心輪的綠色、喉輪的藍色、眉心輪的靛色或是頂輪的紫色(或白色)。在冥想中一方面想著顏色，可一方面觀想它相對應的位置。
或是您可以在心中想像一個美麗的風景，如藍天、碧海….，在把自己放在這個美景中，很舒服的冥想並觀察自己呼吸與身體的變化。或著您可藉著先盯著一幅圖畫(有宗教信仰者可以看上師或宗教符號)，在看得很專心後，慢慢的閉上雙眼，靜靜的觀想著之前的圖案。
有另一種可以幫助自己靜下來的方法，是用聲音。也可以用它來冥想。您可在心中默唸OM。或是在吸氣時默唸SO，吐氣默唸HUM，就這樣SO~HUM~SO~HUM~在心中反覆地唸。
靜坐觀想何處？
至於靜坐時，放掉冥想所想的主題，要進入什的不想，會比冥想還難。隨時有雜念浮現是很正常的事，我們不能控制不起雜念，但可以做到的是不去「尋思」。也就是當雜念出現時，不要跟著它一直想下去，而是讓它輕輕的離開。就像我們仰望天空的白雲，它怎麼來，也怎麼走，在腦海中不留痕跡。
但是，單這樣還不容易做到，您可以試著把您的專注力放在身上的某個位置。可以是眉心，可以是前額，也可以是鼻尖，也有人放在肚臍。當您把意念放在那個位置時，就集中精神注意那個部位的變化，把其他感官的知覺與想法，逐漸降到最低。
要注意的是，靜坐與冥想時，是有意識，專注在您想的事物上或是觀想的部位上，不要讓自己坐著坐著跌入睡夢中，這樣不但失去堋坐或冥想的意義，坐睡浪費時間不如逕自休息去；時常在靜坐中睡去，還可能養成一練就睡的習慣
坊間談禪修、靜坐的書很多，教如何禪坐的單位也不少，相信有不少朋友已經去修習過了。不過，您會發覺，如何讓自己「靜」下來、「定」下來，各有各的說法，莫哀一是。
以英文來說，不論靜坐或是想，都是Meditation。但中文就有不同意義，也代表不同境界。基本上，靜坐與冥想的目標相同，都是透過練習，讓我們的身體與心靈都靜下來，達到什麼都不想，無我的狀態。到達那個狀態，可以說是「三摩地」，也就是瑜伽的最高境界，是心中水波不興，完全靜止的情況。
但是，這種無我的狀態非常難到達，除了不斷的練習之外，加上一些幫忙會好一點。靜坐(有人叫禪坐，它們兩者非常接近)和冥想就是幫助我們達到無我的最高境界的過程。不過，這兩者有過程上的差異。
靜坐，望文生義，就是坐在那邊儘量什麼都不想。冥想則相反，我們在冥想中是有主題的，思想儘量圍著它繞。
冥想想什麼？
您在靜坐與冥想之間，可以同時並行(早上練冥想，晚上練靜坐；或前一段是冥想，接下來是靜坐時間)，也可先選擇每天練習冥想。
那麼，冥想想什呢？有幾個方向可想：想顏色、想畫面、想聲音…。這些在冥想中的主題，千萬不要和現實生活中有緊密的連結。請不想在冥想中想工作、家庭、子女、財務等您每天都在困擾的事。相反的，您要想的是可以讓自己集中去想且能放鬆，但又不會在過程中睡著的主題。
想顏色怎麼想呢？您可以以一週一個顏色來進行，若是能配合著脈輪的顏色來冥想更好。比如：海底輪的紅色、生殖輪的澄色、臍輪的黃色、心輪的綠色、喉輪的藍色、眉心輪的靛色或是頂輪的紫色(或白色)。在冥想中一方面想著顏色，可一方面觀想它相對應的位置。
或是您可以在心中想像一個美麗的風景，如藍天、碧海….，在把自己放在這個美景中，很舒服的冥想並觀察自己呼吸與身體的變化。或著您可藉著先盯著一幅圖畫(有宗教信仰者可以看上師或宗教符號)，在看得很專心後，慢慢的閉上雙眼，靜靜的觀想著之前的圖案。
有另一種可以幫助自己靜下來的方法，是用聲音。也可以用它來冥想。您可在心中默唸OM。或是在吸氣時默唸SO，吐氣默唸HUM，就這樣SO~HUM~SO~HUM~在心中反覆地唸。
靜坐觀想何處？
至於靜坐時，放掉冥想所想的主題，要進入什的不想，會比冥想還難。隨時有雜念浮現是很正常的事，我們不能控制不起雜念，但可以做到的是不去「尋思」。也就是當雜念出現時，不要跟著它一直想下去，而是讓它輕輕的離開。就像我們仰望天空的白雲，它怎麼來，也怎麼走，在腦海中不留痕跡。
但是，單這樣還不容易做到，您可以試著把您的專注力放在身上的某個位置。可以是眉心，可以是前額，也可以是鼻尖，也有人放在肚臍。當您把意念放在那個位置時，就集中精神注意那個部位的變化，把其他感官的知覺與想法，逐漸降到最低。
要注意的是，靜坐與冥想時，是有意識，專注在您想的事物上或是觀想的部位上，不要讓自己坐著坐著跌入睡夢中，這樣不但失去堋坐或冥想的意義，坐睡浪費時間不如逕自休息去；時常在靜坐中睡去，還可能養成一練就睡的習慣
2008年8月16日 星期六
Funny Jokes In Yoga
Yoga police: "You have the right to remain silent!"
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Kundalini Yogi sharpshooter: "Ready, aim, fire!"
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Two men meet on the street.
One asks the other: "Hi, how are you?"
The other one replies: "I'm fine, thanks."
"And how's your son? Is he still unemployed?"
"Yes, he is. But he is meditating now."
"Meditating? What's that?"
"I don't know. But it's better than sitting around and doing nothing!"
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Don't just do something -- Sit there!
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Albert Einstein: "Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish."
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A student went to his meditation teacher and said, "My meditation is horrible! I feel so distracted, or my legs ache, or I'm constantly falling asleep. It's just horrible!"
"It will pass," the teacher said matter-of-factly.
A week later, the student came back to his teacher. "My meditation is wonderful! I feel so aware, so peaceful, so alive! It's just wonderful!"
"It will pass," the teacher replied matter-of-factly.
-------
Warning! Dates on the calendar may be closer than they appear!
Typographical error: "May your medication today bring you peace, happiness, and bliss."
-------
This fellow was climbing a tree when suddenly he slipped. He grabbed a branch and was hanging there. After an hour or so passed, he was feeling exhausted. He looked up to the heavens and cried out: "God, help me, please, help me."
Suddenly the clouds parted and a deep voice resounded, "Let Go!"
The guy paused and looked up at heaven once more, and said: "Is there anyone else up there?"
-------
Time is the best teacher, although it kills the students.
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Bob Hope: "I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality."
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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
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W. B. Yeats: "Some people say there is a God; others say there is no
God. The truth probably lies somewhere in between."
-------
My karma ran over my dogma....
Having trouble sleeping? Try counting your blessings.
-------
Garth Brooks: "Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers."
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A group of bats, hanging from the ceiling of a cave, discover a single bat STANDING upright below them on the floor of the cave. Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask, "What's wrong with you? What are you doing down there?" The standing bat answers, "Yoga!"
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Elbert Hubbard: "We are punished by our sins, not for them."
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If you want to ruin the truth, stretch it.
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When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied "I wish no gifts, only presence"
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Four monks agreed to meditate in silence for a week and to not speak a single word. On the first day, they all maintained silence. But as darkness fell, the flame of their singular candle began to flicker. "Oh, the flame is going out, said one monk. "Eh, we should not speak a single word, said the second monk. "Why do you two want to speak? said the third monk "Ha! I am the only one who did not talk! said the fourth monk.
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Garrison Keillor: "They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days."
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If God had a telephone answering machine:
"Thank you for calling heaven. Please select one of the following options:"
"Press 1 for requests"
"Press 2 for thanksgiving"
"Press 3 for complaints"
"Press 4 for all other inquiries"
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The easiest way to get holy water is to boil the hell out of it.
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Mark Twain: "Do the thing you fear most, and the death of fear is certain."
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Some people talk about finding God, as if He or She could get lost.
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Throughout the highs and lows of life, whether bad times or good, whether living in darkness or light, untruth or truth, sugar always tastes sweet. So too can the sweet remembrance of the union called Yoga be ever tasted. Swami Jnaneshvara
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Albert Einstein: There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is a miracle.
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Bumper sticker: I considered being atheist, but there weren't enough holidays.
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At a moment of uncertainty a man said, "May the will of God be done."
His friend, overhearing this, said to him, "The will of God is always done, even without asking."
"How do you know this?" asked the first man.
The second man explained, "I know it is so because, if it were not, there would be at least a few times when my will is done.
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Emily Dickenson: "They say that God is everywhere, and yet we always think of Him as somewhat of a recluse."
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When two psychic friends met, one said:
"You are fine. How am I ?"
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Q: What do Yoga meditation and an apple peeler have in common?
A: They both take you to the core.
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Sign in the window of a metaphysical bookstore:
"Vagueness spoken here"
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The best vitamin to be a happy person is B1.
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Q: What do Yoga meditation and a fudge cake have in common?
A: They each bring you a piece or peace of heaven.
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Graffiti on a wall: God is dead! (Signed Friedrich Nietzsche)
Graffiti below that: Friedrich Nietzsche is dead! (Signed God)
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Q: How many contemplative monks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change the light bulb. One to not change the light bulb. One to neither change nor not change the light bulb.
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In Yoga, it's just one thing after another -- breath, breath, breath
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Meditation student: If I'm open minded, won't my brains fall out?
Teacher: No, just keep your mouth shut at the same time.
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I believe in God. I just don't trust anybody who works for him.
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If it seems like everything is coming at you, maybe you're in the wrong lane.
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Q: How many yogis does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Into what?
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Mahatma Gandhi: "I think it would be a good idea." (When asked what he thought about Western civilization)
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The enlightened ones have no boundaries, but respect those of others.
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The energy (oil) consumption curve of human history:
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If you believe in telekinesis, please raise my hand.
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In the pursuit of happiness, the hard part is knowing when you've caught up.
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Bumper sticker: God is coming... Look busy!
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The only trouble with being a self made man is when you worship your creator.
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Gypsy Rose Lee: "God is love, but get it in writing."
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Q: Why couldn't the Yogi vacuum his carpet?
A: He had lost his attachments.
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Bertrand Russell: "One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important."
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A temple for atheists is a non-prophet organization.
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A local priest and a pastor were fishing on the side of the road. They thoughtfully made a sign saying, "The end is near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" and showed it to each passing car.
One driver who drove by didn't appreciate the sign and shouted at them, "Leave us alone, you religious nuts!"
All of a sudden they heard a big splash, looked at each other, and the priest said to the pastor, "You think maybe we should have just said 'Bridge Out' instead?"
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H. G. Wells: "Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo."
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The voice of the intellect is soft one, but it does not rest until it has gained a hearing. Ultimately, after endless rebuffs, it succeeds. This is one of the few points in which one may be optimistic about the future of mankind.
Sigmund Freud, The Future of an Illusion
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A word to the wise is sufficient, but a thousand to a fool is not quite enough.
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Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
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Q. What did the advertisement of the Yoga teacher searching for new students say?
A. "Inquire within"
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Voltaire: "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
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What did the Yogi say when he walked into the Pizza Parlor?
"Make me one with everything."
When the Yogi got the pizza, he gave the proprietor a $20 bill. The proprietor pocketed the bill. The Yogi said "Don't I get change?"
The proprietor said, "Change must come from within.”
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Lily Tomlin: "Why is it when we talk to God, we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?"
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George Carlin: "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."
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Three Yogis are doing meditative in a remote cave. One day a sound is heard from outside the cave. After about six months, one of the yogis says, "Did you hear that goat?" Once again, there was silence. About a year later, one of the other Yogis says, "That wasn't a goat; it was a mule." Again, there was silence. About two years later the third yogi says, "If you two don't stop arguing, I'm leaving."
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Woody Allen: "It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."
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Knock knock
Who's there?
Yoga
Yoga who?
Yoga to try this; it feels goooood!
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Carl Sagan: "A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism."
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Q. What did the yogi tell the door-to-door salesperson who came to his home selling vacuum cleaners?
A. Too many attachments!
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Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.
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One of the biggest, most sad, and least funny Yoga jokes of all:
Yoga is a physical fitness program. (more)
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This site is devoted to presenting the ancient Self-Realization path of the Tradition of the Himalayan masters in simple, understandable and beneficial ways, while not compromising quality or depth. The goal of our sadhana or practices is the highest Joy that comes from the Realization in direct experience of the center of consciousness, the Self, the Atman or Purusha, which is one and the same with the Absolute Reality. This Self-Realization comes through Yoga meditation of the Yoga Sutras, the contemplative insight of Advaita Vedanta, and the intense devotion of Samaya Sri Vidya Tantra, the three of which complement one another like fingers on a hand. We employ the classical approaches of Raja, Jnana, Karma, and Bhakti Yoga, as well as Hatha, Kriya, Kundalini, Laya, Mantra, Nada, Siddha, and Tantra Yoga. Meditation, contemplation, mantra and prayer finally converge into a unified force directed towards the final stage, piercing the pearl of wisdom called bindu, leading to the Absolute.
-------
Kundalini Yogi sharpshooter: "Ready, aim, fire!"
-------
Two men meet on the street.
One asks the other: "Hi, how are you?"
The other one replies: "I'm fine, thanks."
"And how's your son? Is he still unemployed?"
"Yes, he is. But he is meditating now."
"Meditating? What's that?"
"I don't know. But it's better than sitting around and doing nothing!"
-------
Don't just do something -- Sit there!
-------
Albert Einstein: "Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish."
-------
A student went to his meditation teacher and said, "My meditation is horrible! I feel so distracted, or my legs ache, or I'm constantly falling asleep. It's just horrible!"
"It will pass," the teacher said matter-of-factly.
A week later, the student came back to his teacher. "My meditation is wonderful! I feel so aware, so peaceful, so alive! It's just wonderful!"
"It will pass," the teacher replied matter-of-factly.
-------
Warning! Dates on the calendar may be closer than they appear!
Typographical error: "May your medication today bring you peace, happiness, and bliss."
-------
This fellow was climbing a tree when suddenly he slipped. He grabbed a branch and was hanging there. After an hour or so passed, he was feeling exhausted. He looked up to the heavens and cried out: "God, help me, please, help me."
Suddenly the clouds parted and a deep voice resounded, "Let Go!"
The guy paused and looked up at heaven once more, and said: "Is there anyone else up there?"
-------
Time is the best teacher, although it kills the students.
-------
Bob Hope: "I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality."
-------
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
-------
W. B. Yeats: "Some people say there is a God; others say there is no
God. The truth probably lies somewhere in between."
-------
My karma ran over my dogma....
Having trouble sleeping? Try counting your blessings.
-------
Garth Brooks: "Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers."
-------
A group of bats, hanging from the ceiling of a cave, discover a single bat STANDING upright below them on the floor of the cave. Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask, "What's wrong with you? What are you doing down there?" The standing bat answers, "Yoga!"
-------
Elbert Hubbard: "We are punished by our sins, not for them."
-------
If you want to ruin the truth, stretch it.
-------
When asked what gift he wanted for his birthday, the yogi replied "I wish no gifts, only presence"
-------
Four monks agreed to meditate in silence for a week and to not speak a single word. On the first day, they all maintained silence. But as darkness fell, the flame of their singular candle began to flicker. "Oh, the flame is going out, said one monk. "Eh, we should not speak a single word, said the second monk. "Why do you two want to speak? said the third monk "Ha! I am the only one who did not talk! said the fourth monk.
-------
Garrison Keillor: "They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days."
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If God had a telephone answering machine:
"Thank you for calling heaven. Please select one of the following options:"
"Press 1 for requests"
"Press 2 for thanksgiving"
"Press 3 for complaints"
"Press 4 for all other inquiries"
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The easiest way to get holy water is to boil the hell out of it.
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Mark Twain: "Do the thing you fear most, and the death of fear is certain."
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Some people talk about finding God, as if He or She could get lost.
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Throughout the highs and lows of life, whether bad times or good, whether living in darkness or light, untruth or truth, sugar always tastes sweet. So too can the sweet remembrance of the union called Yoga be ever tasted. Swami Jnaneshvara
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Albert Einstein: There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is a miracle.
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Bumper sticker: I considered being atheist, but there weren't enough holidays.
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At a moment of uncertainty a man said, "May the will of God be done."
His friend, overhearing this, said to him, "The will of God is always done, even without asking."
"How do you know this?" asked the first man.
The second man explained, "I know it is so because, if it were not, there would be at least a few times when my will is done.
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Emily Dickenson: "They say that God is everywhere, and yet we always think of Him as somewhat of a recluse."
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When two psychic friends met, one said:
"You are fine. How am I ?"
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Q: What do Yoga meditation and an apple peeler have in common?
A: They both take you to the core.
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Sign in the window of a metaphysical bookstore:
"Vagueness spoken here"
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The best vitamin to be a happy person is B1.
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Q: What do Yoga meditation and a fudge cake have in common?
A: They each bring you a piece or peace of heaven.
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Graffiti on a wall: God is dead! (Signed Friedrich Nietzsche)
Graffiti below that: Friedrich Nietzsche is dead! (Signed God)
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Q: How many contemplative monks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change the light bulb. One to not change the light bulb. One to neither change nor not change the light bulb.
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In Yoga, it's just one thing after another -- breath, breath, breath
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Meditation student: If I'm open minded, won't my brains fall out?
Teacher: No, just keep your mouth shut at the same time.
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I believe in God. I just don't trust anybody who works for him.
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If it seems like everything is coming at you, maybe you're in the wrong lane.
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Q: How many yogis does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Into what?
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Mahatma Gandhi: "I think it would be a good idea." (When asked what he thought about Western civilization)
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The enlightened ones have no boundaries, but respect those of others.
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The energy (oil) consumption curve of human history:
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If you believe in telekinesis, please raise my hand.
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In the pursuit of happiness, the hard part is knowing when you've caught up.
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Bumper sticker: God is coming... Look busy!
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The only trouble with being a self made man is when you worship your creator.
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Gypsy Rose Lee: "God is love, but get it in writing."
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Q: Why couldn't the Yogi vacuum his carpet?
A: He had lost his attachments.
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Bertrand Russell: "One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important."
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A temple for atheists is a non-prophet organization.
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A local priest and a pastor were fishing on the side of the road. They thoughtfully made a sign saying, "The end is near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" and showed it to each passing car.
One driver who drove by didn't appreciate the sign and shouted at them, "Leave us alone, you religious nuts!"
All of a sudden they heard a big splash, looked at each other, and the priest said to the pastor, "You think maybe we should have just said 'Bridge Out' instead?"
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H. G. Wells: "Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo."
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The voice of the intellect is soft one, but it does not rest until it has gained a hearing. Ultimately, after endless rebuffs, it succeeds. This is one of the few points in which one may be optimistic about the future of mankind.
Sigmund Freud, The Future of an Illusion
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A word to the wise is sufficient, but a thousand to a fool is not quite enough.
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Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
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Q. What did the advertisement of the Yoga teacher searching for new students say?
A. "Inquire within"
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Voltaire: "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."
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What did the Yogi say when he walked into the Pizza Parlor?
"Make me one with everything."
When the Yogi got the pizza, he gave the proprietor a $20 bill. The proprietor pocketed the bill. The Yogi said "Don't I get change?"
The proprietor said, "Change must come from within.”
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Lily Tomlin: "Why is it when we talk to God, we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?"
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George Carlin: "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death."
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Three Yogis are doing meditative in a remote cave. One day a sound is heard from outside the cave. After about six months, one of the yogis says, "Did you hear that goat?" Once again, there was silence. About a year later, one of the other Yogis says, "That wasn't a goat; it was a mule." Again, there was silence. About two years later the third yogi says, "If you two don't stop arguing, I'm leaving."
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Woody Allen: "It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens."
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Knock knock
Who's there?
Yoga
Yoga who?
Yoga to try this; it feels goooood!
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Carl Sagan: "A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism."
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Q. What did the yogi tell the door-to-door salesperson who came to his home selling vacuum cleaners?
A. Too many attachments!
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Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.
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One of the biggest, most sad, and least funny Yoga jokes of all:
Yoga is a physical fitness program. (more)
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This site is devoted to presenting the ancient Self-Realization path of the Tradition of the Himalayan masters in simple, understandable and beneficial ways, while not compromising quality or depth. The goal of our sadhana or practices is the highest Joy that comes from the Realization in direct experience of the center of consciousness, the Self, the Atman or Purusha, which is one and the same with the Absolute Reality. This Self-Realization comes through Yoga meditation of the Yoga Sutras, the contemplative insight of Advaita Vedanta, and the intense devotion of Samaya Sri Vidya Tantra, the three of which complement one another like fingers on a hand. We employ the classical approaches of Raja, Jnana, Karma, and Bhakti Yoga, as well as Hatha, Kriya, Kundalini, Laya, Mantra, Nada, Siddha, and Tantra Yoga. Meditation, contemplation, mantra and prayer finally converge into a unified force directed towards the final stage, piercing the pearl of wisdom called bindu, leading to the Absolute.
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